The Problem of Sharing
19 Aug 2011 1 Comment
in Personal Feelings Tags: feelings, Friends, Google +, personal, sharing, Twitter
So with the coming of Google+ comes the era of sharing. And I don’t think that’s bad. I actually hunger for personal details for those that I feel close to. These details make me feel even closer.
The problem comes with sharing back. I have no problem sharing stories about my dogs, my work, and my podcast but when it comes to sharing things about my fears, my want of children, and other personal details, I just can seem to press the post button. I start….and then erase my post. Every time I start I psyche myself out thinking that nobody wants to hear something so personal. I will feel like I’m whining. And I think most of all, I hear my mother’s voice telling me that private business should remain private.
But I actually don’t believe that. I’m all about revealing yourself to those who are closest to you so that they can see the real you. I hate people thinking that I am one thing but I am really another. What you see is what you get. I think as far as posting about myself, I would rather people come to me to hear what I have to say. That way I don’t “put anybody out” by posting my personal stuff to their wall while they might not want to hear it. I share so much of myself when I’m one on one with somebody but when I share with a group, I tend to clam up.
It’s hard to share a lot of personal things over Twitter. Not so much over Google+. It’s designed for personal sharing. I’m going to try harder. I want to share parts of me with those I care about.
It’s Been A Year
14 Jul 2011 3 Comments
in Personal Feelings Tags: death
Yesterday was the one year anniversary of the day that my friend left us. Not her fault, but she left us all the same. I miss her. Still. It’s funny that I still think about her. Never saw her face in person.
In this year, I’ve had times where I think, Daph would have liked this. She would have loved this. She would have been in my circle on Google+. We could have hung out.
As much as she loved blood elves, I think she would have tried a goblin. She was a good person. She made me laugh and she was incredibly brave. She wasn’t afraid to speak her mind to friend or foe. I don’t really ever want to forget her. I felt close to her. J brought us all together. Thanks, J, for that.
I know she’s gone and she’ll never hear these words again. She’s not looking down on me or any of that. But a little part of her is left in all that she affected. So in a way, a part of her is still here. I don’t ever want to forget about her. She was a carefree spirit and when I think of Hawaii, I think of her.
I miss you Daph. This is how I express it. You were amazing. Thank you.
First Impressions: The Help
12 Jul 2011 Leave a Comment
in Books, First Impressions Tags: bigotry, book review, colored, jackson, Kathryn Stockett, maid, maids, mississippi, racism, the Help, White
I just finished The Help on my Kindle. When I got done, I wanted to know more of these ladies lives that had been featured in the book. I wanted to know the end of the story. But then I realized there is no end of the story. Not really. That story just continues on and on. I wonder if it means that there was no real conclusion to the book. But the more I think about it, I realize that’s not it. It’s the subject matter of the book that I want to know more of.
The book features three women prominently in begins in 1962. Two are black maids working in Jackson, Mississippi. The other is a white female who realizes that things are not alright as they are and that change could happen. All three of them decide to do something brave and extremely brave for that time. The story follows these three woman and the friendship that grows between them.
As a black person, learning about everything that happened before I was born is extremely important. I feel a certain kinship to the African-Americans who have come before me. Maybe I feel slight guilt for what they had to endure to have my life be better. I’ve never had to experience any outright racism and for that I’m grateful. I know there are others who haven’t been so fortunate. I buried myself in this book. I wanted to know more. The young people featured in the book would have been about 75 today. I wonder if there are older people who regret their actions. I wonder who among them were just going along with the status quo.
This is the kind of book that brings those kinds of thoughts to the front of your mind. There are parts that can be brutal and some of it may seem a little out there but I promise you, those kind of things happened. They mix a little bit of history within the book to let you know about Jackson which was really informative.
Rating:
4 out of 5 stars.
I recommend it to young adults and up. It’s an informative read that lets you see how far we’ve come and how far we still have to go.
Faith in the System
05 Jul 2011 4 Comments
in Rant Tags: Casey Anthony, Caylee Anthony, guilty, law, legal, not guilty, reasonable doubt
So I just heard the outrage on Twitter about the Casey Anthony case. All I heard was not guilty! I can’t believe it! She’s clearly guilty. etc, etc.
I haven’t followed the case closely and because of that, I think I have a clearer head after reading the facts of the case. Now I admit, their was some damning evidence. Lying to the police is a huge one. But apparently there was reasonable doubt among the jurors.
You can’t have faith in the legal system only when it does what you want it to. You either have faith in none of it or all of it. People have no idea what the jurors were told or what made to see. It’s a hard decision to put somebody in jail for the rest of their lives or put to death. If for some reason the evidence wasn’t 100% damning, then the jurors had a duty to deem her not guilty. That’s how the law is built.
She could have done it. I don’t know. What I know is, it’s our legal system and it’s the only one we have. If you don’t like the system, work to change it. That’s all I can tell you.
Religion and Spirituality
27 May 2011 6 Comments
in Religion Tags: Baptist, God, Jesus, Religion, spirituality
I was listening to Alachia’s podcast Little Green Dot #80 and it really gave me the urge to write this post. She was talking about her views on organized religion and how it was affecting her family and friends.
I’ve also been thinking about religion and spirituality a lot. There’s a lot of cynicism on my part and I tend to be defensive when talking about it.
I was raised African-American Baptist. The kind where the singing is good and there’s a point in the sermon that the preacher stops teaching and starts preaching. Anybody who’s been to a black Baptist church knows that when the organ comes in, you can shut your Bible because the teaching is done with.
I was raised with the beliefs that I was God’s child and if I prayed he would listen to me. He would help me through all of my problems and even if life was hard, he would be there. I was never taught that other people are going to hell and all of that. There was never any fire and brimstone and threat of hell. I guess I was lucky in that aspect.
But even so, when I was about 12, I started to question. It didn’t sound right. The whole concept I didn’t get. All those miracles that were performed and we don’t see any now? And I mean blatant miracles like the fish and bread feeding all those people and the red sea parting. A miracle to me is something that science can’t every explain, now or in the future. So when I was 12 I began to question. Nobody could answer some of them or they had convenient answers like “It’s not our place to know. It’s God’s plan.” Everything was sooooo convenient. Jesus is coming back one day. We don’t know when, but he is. Isn’t that convenient.
I started questioning what happens to people who aren’t Christians. What happens to the 17 year old girl across the world who’s never heard of Jesus? Does she go to heaven? When I started hearing that she wouldn’t go to heaven, that’s when I started to doubt organized religion. I liked going to church for the positive life lessons and the singing. But I hated that when I didn’t agree with a particular message, I couldn’t just get up and say something to the preacher. I felt I wasn’t being taught, I felt I was being told that I had to believe this one thing and I couldn’t even discuss it.
I stopped going to church regularly when I left to go to college. That gave me time to think about what I wanted. When I finished college and came back home, when I did go to church, I didn’t go to the black Baptist church I grew up with. I started going to a nondenominational church that was mostly white. The singing was nowhere near as good but I thought the messages made more sense. As time went on, even some of the messages that they were giving didn’t make sense.
I stopped going to church. I really thought about what I felt. I thought about things. I looked at how religion was used throughout history and is being used now. I came to my own conclusion that the whole Jesus thing is false. Organized religion is there only to make people feel better and to be a moral guide. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. Anything that helps people be a better person is good. But I don’t believe that Jesus was the son of a god. Now the gold thing. I’m not sure if there is a god. This is the part I’m iffy about. I’m not atheist, or a deist. I don’t even think it’s agnostic. I’m not sure what I am. The god thing troubles me. For one, I see things in nature that are so perfect and things in the human body work so perfectly that I think there has to be something guiding it. But then I think, what kind of god would allow the world to be the way it is. So I’m on the fence on that one.
It doesn’t help matters that the rest of my family is still religious. I am glad they don’t push it on me. But I hate that they think that I still love god and Jesus but I still don’t know it. That irritates me and immediately puts me on the defensive. I hate being treated like a child who doesn’t know what they are feeling. So I often wear a coat of armor when religion comes up. I bristle when people immediately put me down because of what I don’t believe in. You want to believe in Jesus and that he’s the son of a god? That’s fine, just leave me out of it.
So that’s how I feel about religion. I’d rather have my own moral compass guide me than some imaginary dude in the sky.
Things That Make Me Smile #3
18 May 2011 Leave a Comment
in Smiley Things Tags: bikes, faces, J, smiley things
I can’t believe I’m doing two of these back to back! Either I have a lot of things to smile about or I don’t write as often. Or both. 
My husband J knows that I love seeing faces in everything. He sent this to me at work to make me smile. And he did. Thanks J!
Things That Make Me Smile #2
12 May 2011 Leave a Comment
in Smiley Things Tags: drums, Fridaynosaur, interactive, Left-Handed Toons
I love reading web comics on my Google Reader and there’s one that makes me laugh without fail. Left handed toons is hilarious! They recently had their 1000th comic and they celebrated with a little treat for the fans. Try it out and you won’t be disappointed.
Half of My Life
11 May 2011 1 Comment
in Personal Feelings Tags: confusion, frustration, half a life
Do you ever get the feeling that half of your life isn’t yours? That’s how I’ve been feeling lately.
Half of my life feels perfect and feels exactly where I should be. The other half of my life, I say to myself, “This isn’t my life. This is somebody else’s life.” My husband, dog, and family. Those feel right. Those feel perfect. Everything else feels off. It feels like if the color is a little bit off on the TV.
This sounds odd to me just saying it. And I’m really trying to do better about expressing my feelings and saying exactly what I mean.
There are some times in my life where I’m deliriously happy and nothing could be better. And then others where I’m incredulous about this is where I am. This is probably normal and people will say it all depends on what you do with the feelings. Well to be honest, I’m not sure what to do with them. It’s not that easy to change the life to be what you want it to be. It can be frustrating and confusing.
Google Chrome Pulls at Heartstrings
04 May 2011 2 Comments
in Technology Tags: chrome, Google, it gets better, sophie
So I just watched two videos by Google Chrome. I’m not usually prone to fits of emotional distress. But these two videos were close to bringing tears to my eyes. So much emotion. They are good at what they do. Plus the first video is such an excellent idea. If I would ever have a child, I would do that.
So enjoy. These two videos have worked. I know ultimately the first is a marketing strategy but it’s working on me. And I don’t mind.
